Chapter 1: The Diverse Tapestry of Human Experience

Life has introduced me to an unexpectedly wide range of individuals.

I've shared a seven-course meal with Italian nobility and executives from Goldman Sachs, as well as indulged in dumpster pizza with gutter punks and those experiencing homelessness. My nights have been spent in various places: from the back of a truck with the Rainbow Family to a tent at a pipeline protest, from a Walmart parking lot to a luxurious hotel in California, and even in the cozy confines of a lake house in Maine, wrapped in the embrace of lovers, strangers, and friends. I've had experiences with ex-police officers, former convicts, soldiers, and advocates for social justice—men, women, and every identity in between. I've loved through thick and thin, in health and in illness, and have navigated the highs and lows of life, forging friendships and enmities along the way.

Through this eclectic journey, I've had the unique opportunity to observe human behavior from various angles. While I don't claim to possess absolute insight into people or their motivations, I have detected certain consistent patterns that emerge even amidst constant change.

One enduring truth that I can assert is this: as frustrating as it might be to acknowledge, every individual is genuinely trying their best.

Everyone is navigating their lives, interpreting their surroundings, and using their accumulated experiences to make decisions they believe to be the best. Each person is sincerely striving to love themselves and others, doing the utmost they can at any given moment. Even when mistakes happen, they are often the best choices available under the circumstances.

Even those in power, like Trump, are operating under the belief that they are doing what they think is best.

This notion does not imply that everyone's best is sufficient. One person's best may be another's worst nightmare, and that dissonance is frequently evident. The troubling aspect of wrongdoing is that it often occurs without self-awareness. Many harmful outcomes arise from seemingly mundane decisions, made by individuals who thought they were doing the right thing at the time, without contemplating the broader consequences.

Acknowledging our best efforts does not absolve us from accountability when our actions result in negative outcomes.

Yet, it remains true that everyone is doing their best.

Both statements coexist. How you choose to reconcile these truths is a personal decision.

For me, accepting this reality doesn't resolve the issues in my life or the world at large, but it does offer a sense of relief. It doesn't necessarily improve the situation, but it does provide a clearer understanding.

I often reflect on the superficiality of many people's efforts to improve the world, including my own. It’s no surprise that many initiatives feel insincere today. Thoughts evolve more rapidly than emotions, emotions shift faster than habits, and habits transform more quickly than societies. We often learn the appropriate language before we comprehend how to apply it meaningfully, and knowing the right actions doesn't guarantee the ability to follow through.

Progress is slow, perhaps slower than we would prefer. The world feels like it is disintegrating more rapidly than anticipated. This is our current reality: everyone is doing their best.

Recognizing this doesn't "fix" anything. It doesn’t halt ongoing issues or change the current state of affairs. The only alteration is in our perception of each other and possibly in our understanding of responsibility.

If our definition of "doing our best" includes not causing harm to others, we must critically examine how our actions affect those around us. We come to understand that doing our best does not equate to doing good or fulfilling needs. True helpfulness stems from heightened awareness, not merely increased effort.

You are already doing your best. Take a moment to breathe, listen, and learn; this will enable you to improve.

Everyone else is likewise striving to do their best. You cannot dictate whether they will surpass their current efforts or define what their best may entail.

What you can do, if you choose, is to allow the knowledge that everyone is doing their best to ease your feelings of alienation in the world. You could use this understanding as motivation to cultivate more compassion, both for yourself and others. This realization offers a chance to critically assess what is truly necessary and to practice active listening before taking action.

These decisions are yours to make, but the choice always rests with you. No matter what decisions you've made, they were the best you could have made at the time. The present moment is your only opportunity to make different choices.

You've already done your best. The lingering question is: what will your best look like moving forward?

Chapter 2: The Reality of Everyone's Best

Brené Brown and Russell Brand discuss the notion that everyone is genuinely trying their best in their lives.

A conversation with Brené Brown about the complexity of human behavior and the belief that people are doing the best they can.