We Are All the Rich Young Ruler

“…and so, crestfallen, he walked away. He was holding tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go.” (Matthew 19:22 MSG)

The tale of the rich young ruler is familiar to many, often interpreted through the lens of wealth. This young man, affluent and seeking eternal life, approached Jesus for guidance. After discussing the importance of living righteously and loving others, the young man confidently asserted, “But I do all that already.”

Read: I am a good person.

He pressed for further guidance until Jesus replied,

> “If you want to give it all you’ve got, go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me.” (Matthew 19:21 MSG)

At this, the young man left feeling discouraged and disheartened.

His reaction raises important questions:

Why did he inquire about his standing if he already considered himself “good”? Why did Jesus suggest actions that the man likely already practiced? What drove the young man to seek additional validation? Why did he not find peace with the initial advice and move forward? What made him feel despondent upon hearing Jesus's final directive to “sell all your stuff and follow me”?

It seems that the young man's struggle was not solely about wealth but rather a deeper issue of belonging to God. He desired a form of religion, but perhaps not an authentic relationship with Jesus. His aim was likely to fulfill a checklist, seeking affirmation of his godliness rather than a true commitment to faith. He may have expected Jesus to commend him, saying, “You’ve done well; you’re an exemplary believer.”

God’s One Big Plan for Your Life

#### Belong to Him

Perhaps he anticipated Jesus calling others over to highlight him as a model citizen destined for eternal life. Instead, he received the call to sacrifice everything for a relationship with Christ. He walked away dejected because, as Matthew noted,

> “He was holding tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go.” (Matthew 19:22)

We Like to Check the Boxes

We often interpret this story as a caution against materialism, reassuring ourselves that since we aren’t excessively wealthy, we’re in the clear. We check off our boxes, satisfied to move on to the next lesson.

However, a closer examination reveals that the lesson of “letting go” extends beyond just material wealth.

Initially, the man sought a checklist of actions to validate his faith and secure his eternal destiny, eager to earn his place. While we understand that salvation is a gift, it’s easy to overlook this truth in our daily lives.

> “Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving.” (Ephesians 2:8–10)

Jesus did not offer the man a simple guide to salvation but instead posed a question that compels us to seek a deeper relationship with God. Essentially, He prompted him to ask God directly, “Do what He tells you.”

This response may seem dismissive, yet it underscores the need for a personal connection with God. Each of us must pursue Him and be receptive to His guidance. It’s certainly easier to attend church, take notes, and leave with a list of spiritual tips.

Seeking God in this manner mirrors the rich young ruler's approach, asking, “What must I do?” He sought straightforward instructions, wanting to check boxes and gain recognition as a good Christian.

We All Want More but We’re Afraid

I can’t help but think that the young man's way of worship was unfulfilling; otherwise, why would he have sought more? He lived a morally upright life—he didn’t lie, cheat, or harm others. He respected his parents and treated his neighbors well. For him, adhering to these standards was easy.

What Jesus challenged him to do was to dig deeper, to give sacrificially, and to encounter God beyond the confines of religion.

He urged him to discover his unique purpose and to give everything he had. Jesus understood that superficial answers would not satisfy this young man, so he offered him a more profound challenge: to seek God personally, give generously, and make sacrifices.

This reminds me of Jesus’ teaching in Luke 12:48:

> “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (NIV)

It’s a personal journey, and we can discern when we are merely going through the motions versus genuinely living a crucified life alongside Christ.

The young ruler possessed more than just material wealth; he had morals, training, self-discipline, and privilege. His life, had he been transported to contemporary America, would mirror that of an average suburban family man.

Yet Jesus proclaimed that there was more to life: “Give all you have because your wealth will be in heaven and then follow Me.”

Why Did This Leave This Great Guy Crestfallen?

I don’t believe it was merely greed or a love for money that caused his distress. It was likely tied to his attachment to worldly possessions and the pride of being a “good person.”

I have been the rich young ruler; perhaps you have too.

It’s easy to slip into this mentality after being a believer for a while. Many churches facilitate this mindset.

Attend church—check. Live a relatively moral life—check. Volunteer and donate to charity—check. Raise respectful children—check.

This list can create a church culture that permeates middle-class America. While everything might appear commendable on the surface, many of us still grapple internally with questions like, “What must I do? Am I doing enough?”

It’s Not the End of Your Story

Perhaps we harbor a secret awareness that following Christ entails more than we are willing to give up—not yet, anyway. I often ponder the fates of those who encountered Jesus in the gospels, imagining how their lives unfolded after their meetings with Him. That moment was not the end of their stories!

We may perceive the young man as proud, superficial, or even greedy for not joining the disciples immediately, especially when Peter remarked, “We left everything. What do we get out of it?” (Matthew 19:27). Is Peter really all that different from the discouraged young man? He too sought validation.

We don’t have to be wealthy to hesitate in our commitment to follow Christ.

Pride can hinder us from giving our all. “I’m already good—doesn’t that count for something?” Holding tightly to many things applies to many individuals. Sometimes, we cling to negative experiences—sin, regrets, anger, and fear. The list is extensive. It’s challenging to follow Jesus closely when we carry so much baggage. We may even elevate these attachments to the status of idols—wealth is simply one example from this narrative.

> “Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.” — Aubrey De Graf

Pride is multifaceted, often disguising itself in various forms. We frequently fall into the trap of believing we’ve given our all. The comfort of suburban church life encourages this mindset. Sermons often resemble simple checklists: “5 Steps to Spiritual Maturity,” “10 Things a Good Christian Must Do,” or “How to Grow Closer to God in 30 Days.” However, a close examination of the gospels reveals that Jesus did not provide formulas. He rejected religious strategies and the hypocrisy of the Pharisees.

Every time we are tempted to reduce our faith to mere checkboxes, we risk embodying a pharisaical spirit.

What do you struggle to relinquish? It may be material wealth, but it could also be your ambitions—even those aimed at serving God. It could involve intangible attachments, such as pride, a desire for control, or the need to dictate how you serve God. Even good deeds or esteemed positions can become burdensome.

The Kingdom of God is Upside Down

The Kingdom of God operates on principles contrary to worldly logic—perhaps our world is the one that’s upside down, blinding us to the right way to live. Regardless, Jesus summarizes this lesson for His disciples with a powerful statement:

> “But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” (Matthew 19:30 MSG)

This statement often compels me to reflect. The closer I feel to being “first,” the more I desire to let go of something, to declare, “That doesn’t matter,” or “I thought I was meant to pursue this, but now I’m uncertain.” I’m currently grappling with my aspiration to write a book.

Is it my dream or God’s purpose for me? Is it something the world genuinely needs, or does it merely serve my ego? Is it a personal milestone, or is it aligned with His will?

I yearn to release numerous attachments I’ve held onto tightly, recognizing that true riches encompass more than monetary wealth. We can be rich in knowledge, creativity, and good works, yet if we clutch these tightly, we fail to fully follow Him.

It’s All Personal

Jesus emphasized the personal nature of our relationship with God when He spoke to the young man in verse 17. God has a specific answer for each of us, but we must earnestly seek Him. We need to tune in with our hearts, asking, “Am I holding onto this too tightly?”

Recently, I was inspired by a Christian author who, after publishing several books, canceled her latest contract, expressing her desire to let go of her ambition to be a published author. Though she continues to write, she recognized that her attachment to this goal needed to loosen for her to pursue God’s true calling.

I’m curious how her journey will progress, just as I wonder about the rich young ruler. I like to think he eventually found clarity. I’m contemplating releasing a few cherished aspirations to focus on the less glamorous tasks I feel compelled to undertake.

I aspire to serve using my talents, but my ego often clouds my judgment regarding which gifts to utilize. The only way to discern this is to relinquish control, to “sell all I have” and follow Christ.

Those He chooses to return to us will be treasures, while what vanishes is mere chaff, freeing us from ego-driven ambitions and the urge to check boxes.

This story is published in Koinonia — stories by Christians to encourage, entertain, and empower you in your faith, food, fitness, family, and fun.

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