KRYPTONITE #1: CRITICISM

No one enjoys being criticized, but for a narcissist, it’s particularly intolerable. They perceive themselves as infallible and superior, leading them to believe that they shouldn't endure any criticism.

Viewing themselves in an exalted light, they regard others as subordinate. To a narcissist, these subordinates exist solely to fulfill their needs. Consequently, they believe that others lack the right to criticize them. Any attempt to do so often provokes retaliation.

Narcissists often project an image of charm and likability, drawing many to them. However, even minor critiques can trigger explosive anger, causing those around them to tread carefully. This dynamic often leads to victims of narcissistic abuse developing Complex PTSD.

KRYPTONITE #2: DISCOVERING THEIR MANIPULATIONS

Narcissists exist in a carefully crafted manipulative world, having duped family, friends, and associates into believing a fabricated narrative. This façade is meticulously maintained, and they are desperate for you not to see through it.

Their primary skills are manipulation, deceit, and control. If you uncover the lies they've spun, their entire world could collapse.

To safeguard their hidden truths, narcissists employ numerous tactics. Occasionally, their façade falters, revealing their authentic selves.

KRYPTONITE #3: EXPOSURE

Narcissists perform for those around them, showcasing loyalty, charisma, and an easy-going nature. Yet, glimpses of their true colors can surface when their mask slips.

The fear of being exposed is profound for a narcissist. Aware that they conceal their true selves, they dread being unmasked and called out.

This anxiety drives the narcissistic cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard. When the threat of exposure looms, they revert to previous tactics to maintain their hidden persona.

KRYPTONITE #4: LACK OF SUPPLY

Narcissists rely heavily on "supply," which encompasses any form of attention, whether positive or negative. They thrive on your reactions to their outrageous behavior. If you cease to engage with them, it will deeply affect them.

Having depended on your attention for extended periods, the sudden withdrawal of this supply can be devastating. This is why many narcissists cultivate multiple sources of supply; if one source diminishes, they can always turn to another.

Additionally, narcissists dislike closure, preferring to keep lines open for future supply, even if years pass.

KRYPTONITE #5: DAMAGE TO THEIR REPUTATION

Many narcissists devote their lives to curating their public persona and reputation. They labor to project an acceptable image to the world. But is this their authentic self?

This need for control is why narcissists are often seen as control freaks. They must dictate the narrative, how they appear, and others' perceptions of them.

If you've been in a relationship with a narcissist, you might have noticed their reluctance to allow you to express opinions. This stems from their need to maintain control over the narrative. Even within a family, the narcissist often acts as the spokesperson, while others are silenced.

KRYPTONITE #6: THE THREAT OF LEAVING

Narcissists do not want you to leave. From the outset, they manipulate circumstances and people to ensure your continued presence.

If you were to depart, everything they've built—like their false persona, their games, and their sources of supply—would be jeopardized. Leaving poses a significant risk to their constructed reality.

This isn't about reconciliation or doing right by others; it’s about maintaining control over every aspect of their existence.

KRYPTONITE #7: BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE

When confronted with their behavior, narcissists employ various tactics to preserve their façade. These include blame-shifting, gaslighting, and outright rage, all aimed at avoiding responsibility.

They resist accountability, as it would necessitate changes in their behavior—something they are disinclined to undertake.

KRYPTONITE #8: NO CONTACT

Departing from a narcissist is one thing; implementing a "no contact" strategy is another. This finality is particularly distressing for narcissists, as it cuts off their access to you and eliminates their ability to manipulate.

While they may attempt to rally their supporters to intervene, no contact signifies a death knell for them. It deprives them of supply and leaves them abandoned.

Going no contact is undeniably challenging. A narcissist will fight fiercely to maintain their control, but escaping is possible with careful planning.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Narcissists harbor numerous fears, which they perceive as rational given the stakes involved. From the beginning, their game hinges on your ignorance; if you become aware of their manipulations, they employ severe tactics to maintain control, leaving you with two choices: remain silent or risk altering your life’s path.

Originally published at https://www.movingforwardafterabuse.com on October 9, 2021.

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