Embracing Change: How Divorce Transformed My Life for the Better
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Chapter 1: The Decision to Leave
I never imagined that divorce would become a part of my life.
“No,” my friend exclaimed. “You can’t possibly be serious about leaving him!”
“I am,” I replied firmly.
Her reaction was one of disbelief, and understandably so. As we approached our 40s, nearly all our friends were married, and we often spent time together as couples.
Her shock was palpable, but I soon realized that I should have acted on my feelings sooner. This was not my first contemplation of leaving my husband; after eight years of marriage, I had once moved in with my sister, taking our children with me. Ultimately, I returned, lured by his promise to seek counseling.
This time, however, I was resolute in my decision. Yet, when I finally shared my intentions with him, he made empty promises once more, hoping to patch our marriage with temporary fixes. He started to treat me better, but I resisted his attempts. I was determined not to repeat past mistakes.
Seeing the impact my decision had on him was difficult; despite being only 41, his hair began to thin, a clear sign of the stress my departure caused. I felt guilt wash over me, though I knew I had to prioritize my own well-being.
As I attempted to make things work, I realized I was losing my former self—the confident woman who had once been unafraid to start anew. I was now a mother struggling with the emotional weight of a decaying marriage, and the prospect of divorce felt increasingly daunting.
In my younger years, I viewed independence as a strength and didn’t see leaving as a family fracture. However, after having sacrificed a portion of my 40s, I found myself crying at night, praying for a miracle to mend my marriage. I was losing myself to frustration and despair, feeling weaker each day.
Yet, when divorce finally occurred, I discovered it was the best choice for my growth.
Chapter 2: The Positive Changes
Section 2.1: Being Present
Divorce has brought about significant changes in my life, starting with my ability to be present. During the years I spent trying to salvage my marriage, I was far from engaged in my life. My friend often encouraged me to participate in social events, fearing that I might become isolated.
“I know,” I would say, “but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
The truth was that I lacked the energy and focus to enjoy even simple tasks, like cooking dinner, which I once loved.
I now view that period as lost time—merely surviving rather than truly living. The facade of a stable marriage didn’t account for the emotional toll it took on me.
After the divorce, I rediscovered my ability to be present. I can now listen intently, remember details, and appreciate the beauty around me—a lovely bird, a sunset, or a child's laughter.
Section 2.2: Improved Health
The long-term stress from our tumultuous relationship affected my health. I often joked about gaining weight during the divorce as “Ralph’s fault,” a nod to my emotional eating habits.
My doctor advised me to endure the process, as the stress exacerbated my hereditary health issues. During the worst times in my marriage, I abandoned my healthy habits—no longer attending the gym or eating well.
Now, post-divorce, I’m reclaiming my health. I’ve started exercising again and have lost weight, feeling revitalized and motivated to take care of myself.
Section 2.3: Emotional Restoration
The weight of a failing marriage had eroded my emotional and spiritual health. My friends and family urged me to leave, recognizing the toll it was taking on me.
“Colleen,” my sister said, “you’re too smart to stay in this situation.” They were right; I had invested so much of myself into a relationship that required mutual effort.
There’s an irony in loving someone so deeply that you lose sight of your own worth. I transformed from a vibrant, joyful woman into someone who was unhappy and over-communicative out of desperation.
Now, I feel emotionally, spiritually, and physically restored. I am reclaiming my identity, feeling stronger and happier. The woman who once feared divorce has emerged anew, understanding that the end of my marriage was, in fact, a new beginning.
The first video titled "How my divorce changed me for the better!" explores the transformative journey of individuals post-divorce, emphasizing personal growth and newfound strength.
The second video, "5 Tips to help you through life's BIGGEST CHALLENGES | Life After Divorce + What I've Learned," provides practical advice for navigating the emotional and logistical challenges that arise after a divorce.