Chapter 1: Understanding Severe Depression

I identify as someone who experiences depression. Are you also grappling with it? If so, we share this burden. Let's keep it between us, as society might not understand our struggles.

Inspired by Emily Dickinson's words, I have traversed the painful valleys of bipolar depression, juxtaposed with the fleeting highs of hypomania. I have also faced episodes of severe situational depression. Despite this, I recognize that I am not isolated in my experience.

Living with depression feels akin to being trapped on a relentless, terrifying rollercoaster. Unlike a regular ride, this one never truly halts. Although I take powerful psychotropic medications daily, they may temporarily ease my turmoil but don't eliminate the ride.

How does one articulate the profound agony of depression alongside the exhilarating feeling of soaring beyond limits? Both emotions can plunge me into despair.

Reflecting on my journey from my first encounter with clinical depression in seventh grade to the severe episode I faced just last weekend, I have swung between deep sorrow and productive highs. I want to share my narrative so that others grappling with similar feelings realize they are not alone. Many of us endure in silence, confiding only in therapists, doctors, and a select few friends.

We build walls around ourselves, concealing our true emotions from the world, which often leads to a sense of alienation. I want to discuss my journey with bipolar depression, leaving out the manic episodes for another time.

Professionally, I thrive as a musician, conductor, entrepreneur, and writer. I am compassionate, intelligent, and occasionally brilliant, yet I often wrestle with self-doubt and frustration. In private, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the challenges posed by this condition.

Types of Depression

To clarify, there are distinctions among various forms of depression: mild depression (akin to a common cold), situational depression (similar to pneumonia), and severe clinical or bipolar depression (comparable to being on life support).

Mild depression, often referred to as "the blues," is a universal experience. We all encounter this emotional state as we navigate the spectrum of human feelings. Situational depression may arise from significant life events, such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Severe clinical depression, however, can manifest without apparent triggers.

My most challenging experiences have involved the coexistence of situational and clinical depression. At times, I feel as though an immense weight is compressing my very existence, while my mind struggles for air, suffocating under the weight of despair. The thought of remaining in this agonizing limbo forever is perhaps the most painful aspect.

If a close friend or family member is experiencing similar anguish, how can you respond with empathy and support?

What Not to Say:

• "You'll get over this."
• "Cheer up."
• "You have so much to be thankful for."
• "You're scaring me."
• "Feelings are not facts."
• "It could be worse."

What You Should Say:

• "I'm here for you."
• "I love you."
• "This will pass, though I can't say when."
• "Take my hand."
• "Call me anytime."
• "I will be by your side through this."

Coping Strategies for Severe Depression

If you're experiencing severe depression, how can you navigate this struggle and find a way forward? Here are some strategies that have been beneficial for me:

1. Prioritize Medication

   Taking prescribed medication is crucial. While it may not provide immediate relief, consistent use can lead to improvement over time. Just as you would seek treatment for any other serious health issue, do not hesitate to use every available tool for managing bipolar depression.

2. Seek Professional Support

   If you feel uncomfortable reaching out to your current doctor or therapist during a crisis, it may be time to find someone new. Look for compassionate professionals who offer emergency appointments and genuinely care about your well-being.

3. Confide in Trusted Friends

   Not everyone has the emotional capacity to handle the weight of severe depression, but cherish the friends who do. They are invaluable.

4. Incorporate Exercise

   Although exercising can feel daunting, it often proves beneficial. Activities like swimming or walking can elevate your mood, even if mustering the energy to start is difficult.

5. Utilize Writing and Emotional Release

   Crying and writing can be incredibly cathartic. Expressing your feelings through writing can be a healing process during and after episodes of severe depression.

No one said navigating severe and bipolar depression would be easy. It requires immense courage, determination, and resilience. Many remarkable individuals also face this battle. Together, we can endure and thrive. We are deserving of hope!

Chapter 2: Resources and Support

In the first video, "Depression: You Are Not Alone in This Journey," the speaker discusses the importance of recognizing our shared struggles with depression and encourages open conversations about mental health.

The second video, "You Are Not Alone: Hope for Your Depression," offers insight and encouragement for those feeling isolated in their battle against depression, emphasizing that there is always hope and support available.