Chapter 1: The Impact of Trauma

I have a relative who endured horrific abuse throughout their childhood and teenage years. This suffering wasn't limited to just emotional and verbal mistreatment; it also included physical and sexual abuse that persisted for many years. Eventually, they married young in a desperate attempt to escape, only to find themselves in another cycle of abuse with their spouse.

While my affection and admiration for this individual run deep, their persistent struggle with daily anguish has created a rift between us. They often reminisce about the days when we were inseparable, sharing our lives openly, but those times now feel out of reach.

In earlier years, merely surviving day-to-day was enough to keep both of us engaged. One might hope that, at some point, they would seek help to address their emotional scars. However, as the years have passed, they now find themselves in their later life, sharing a cramped one-bedroom apartment with their mother, while spending most of their time in their car due to smoking restrictions. Cigarettes and alcohol have become as essential to them as basic necessities like food and shelter.

Their existence has been reduced to a minuscule existence, with only a handful of family members who still attempt to maintain a relationship, all overshadowed by toxicity. Their memory and perception have become distorted, clouded by addiction, fear, sorrow, and blame, which has driven away many others.

The concept of “healthy boundaries” is viewed negatively, often used in reference to their interactions with others.

To clarify, this person, who was once strikingly beautiful and exceptionally intelligent, is also charismatic, talented, generous, loving, and kind. They had the potential to achieve anything they desired. Yet, that potential has been stolen by their suffering.

After numerous conversations, often sparked by desperate pleas for guidance during emotional drinking episodes, I have come to the point where I need to seek help for myself. I keep telling myself that next week, when my schedule clears, I will attend an AL-ANON meeting. It’s easy to postpone; it doesn’t feel like an emergency—at least not yet.

This brief overview of one person's life serves to illustrate a broader point and hopefully helps others grasp how the fear of confronting unresolved pain can lead only to further suffering.

Traumas from over 50 years ago continue to inflict pain daily, even though the abuser has long since passed away. As Dr. Phil famously noted, “Time heals nothing.”

Section 1.1: A New Perspective on Pain

I have adopted a perspective that helps make sense of life’s complexities. Even the most dreadful and senseless acts can fit into a broader understanding of why they occur—not as a justification, but as an explanation.

The ancient Hawaiians proposed that the only logical definition of “God” is “All-That-Is,” as anything less could not truly embody the essence of God. Since we are all part of this All-That-Is, we are all ‘Divine Beings,’ intricately linked to our Source and to one another.

We experience a brief lifetime in this material world, especially when considering the vastness of time spent before and after our earthly existence in the ‘World of Spirit.’ The World of Spirit is our origin and final destination; it encompasses the physical realm we inhabit.

We arrive here for a purpose. Upon entering this world, we are presented with a myriad of circumstances—time periods, locations, family dynamics, climates, cultures, and socioeconomic conditions. All these factors shape the trajectory of our lives, and I propose that they are all part of a grand design.

From the perspective of the physical world, we are born, grow up, navigate life, and hopefully experience more joy than sorrow before we pass away.

However, from the spiritual perspective, we are eternal Souls evolving toward unity with All-That-Is. We have ‘soul lessons’ to learn over many lifetimes, contributing to our spiritual growth.

Insights from numerous near-death experiences (NDEs) suggest that during our journey of soul development, we are accompanied by a group of other souls sharing a common theme—whether it be art, politics, family dynamics, or even the depths of human suffering.

From this understanding, every experience contributes to a collective repository of knowledge. The essence of God is Creative and Expansive, and our lives are experienced through us.

The ancient Hawaiians possessed profound wisdom about the relationship between the World of Spirit and the World of Form. In the grand scheme, our time in the World of Form is merely a fleeting moment.

Because the physical realm is vibrationally denser, it allows for a spectrum of contrasting elements, providing a backdrop for an infinite range of experiences.

Subsection 1.1.1: A Cinematic Analogy

Life is akin to watching a movie: we can encounter a multitude of experiences ranging from romance to suspense, adventure to tragedy, all from the comfort of our seats in a dark theater. When the show ends, we leave with the simulated experiences of all that transpired on screen.

Similarly, in the World of Form, we engage with dark elements and leave with genuine experiences. Every moment, every being, and every occurrence contributes to the experience of All-That-Is with compassion. Nothing is wasted; every experience counts.

As the ancient Hawaiians noted, “The gods (us) thirst for meaning and expression.” We yearn for experiences that create opportunities for meaning, which we can only encounter in the World of Form.

We originate from a place of pure Love and Joy; through the birth process, we forget our origins and the essence of Love. Our life experiences reveal the stark contrasts between Love and its absence, allowing us to derive meaning.

Forgiveness is often experienced against the backdrop of painful events, while thrill arises from risk. Harmony is appreciated in times of chaos, and so forth.

The World of Form is designed to offer every conceivable experience, making it the ideal setting for learning our ‘soul lessons.’

Pain is an unavoidable aspect of life, but suffering is not. Pain is built into the fabric of existence, while suffering is a state that can be transcended once we learn the necessary lesson. The length of suffering is determined by our awareness and consciousness.

We have a choice; indeed, that is the essence of the lesson.

Chapter 2: Healing Through Forgiveness

The first video, "None of Our Misery Is Meaningless," delves into how every painful experience can serve a purpose, guiding us toward healing and understanding.

The second video, "Pain Has A Purpose," emphasizes that our suffering can lead to profound insights and spiritual growth, ultimately transforming our lives.

I believe that within my immediate family, we have exchanged roles in countless lifetimes, particularly regarding the theme of child sexual abuse. In this lifetime, my sister and I were ‘victims,’ our father the ‘perpetrator,’ and our mother the ‘bystander’ (indirect victim).

Each role carries its unique merits and pain, with some leading to victory while others result in prolonged suffering. It’s likely that we have switched these roles numerous times, perhaps until the one who is still suffering learns that the key to liberation lies in Forgiveness—the Courage to Forgive.

Does that not resonate as a soul lesson?

We can endure pain and eventually heal, but when that pain morphs into years of suffering, this perspective may offer an empowering way to view it. We always hold the power to choose how we interpret painful circumstances. With a broader outlook, it all becomes a brief film that we may eventually find enlightening, educational, and perhaps even amusing.

As one person recounted from his NDE, he looked back at all the experiences, pain included, and remarked, “What a hoot!”

Your essence is as vast as All-That-Is, so consider releasing the energy of victimhood and allowing Love to heal. It may have been your lesson in this life to experience your current struggles, but that doesn’t mean you must remain trapped in them. You don’t.

Humility, Willingness, Courage, and Forgiveness are the core lessons. Love is the most potent force in the Universe, capable of conquering all, including your pain and suffering.

Aloha!