Chapter 1: The Essence of Amae

Today's focus is on amae, a Japanese term that encapsulates a profound yearning for love, care, and reliance on others. It encompasses the acceptance of vulnerability and neediness, even in adulthood. For certain individuals, such as hikikomori in Japan, this yearning may represent their primary emotional connection. For others, it can manifest as a shared bond with family, friends, or romantic partners.

I can empathize with the younger individuals facing hikikomori, despite my solitary living situation. Amae also involves an adult's wish for others to handle tasks they are capable of managing independently.

For some, the sole source of this nurturing affection may come from parents or authority figures, creating a rather one-sided dynamic. The dependent individual relies entirely on these figures for emotional support, often lacking the opportunity to experience such love from a partner or friends—especially relevant for those who remain confined to their homes, akin to the hikikomori phenomenon.

Conversely, many individuals do find this nurturing love through their spouses and friends, particularly if they engage actively with the world around them. Personally, my experience with such dependent love has been limited in recent times, as I have been somewhat reclusive. My emotional support primarily comes from my mother, other family members, and my mental health professionals, who have been pivotal in helping me secure stable living conditions. I am genuinely thankful for their assistance.

After a distressing incident where a romantic partner accidentally set my home ablaze, I realized I could no longer rely on them for emotional support. This experience taught me that I must depend solely on my family and support team.

It’s essential to note that this emotional dynamic isn't solely one-sided. The recipient of this love also gains significant benefits. I can attest to this from my experience as a mother; the joy I derived from caring for my daughter during her infant and toddler years was immense. Although my devotion was one-sided, the opportunity to nurture her brought me profound fulfillment.

In conclusion, this discussion on amae explores the intertwined emotions of dependence and love. Do you recognize amae in your own life? If so, how crucial is it for you that this relationship remains one-sided?

Understanding Emotional Dependency in Codependent Relationships - This video delves into how emotional dependency affects relationships, particularly in codependent scenarios.

Chapter 2: Recognizing Signs of Emotional Dependency

18 Sad Signs You're Emotionally Dependent on People not God - This video outlines key indicators that may reveal emotional dependency on others rather than a higher power.