Striving for Self-Improvement: A Journey of Growth and Reflection
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The Quest for Self-Improvement
Pursuing the best version of myself is an arduous journey—one that often feels overwhelming. Is there an easier path?
This piece is inspired by the Orange Journal’s monthly challenge: What steps can I take to ensure I’m evolving into my best self?
The goal of self-betterment resonates deeply with me; the potential for greatness is limitless. This isn’t just an expression of arrogance; it holds true for everyone.
How liberating is that thought? No external force can confine me, nor can it limit any of us. We are inherently designed to achieve greatness. Yet, there are days when I fail to rise above, instead finding myself tangled in my own anxieties and restrictive beliefs.
This leads to an important question—why do I often feel this way?
A simple answer lies in habits. Specifically, the habit of perceiving myself through a lens of limitations, a mindset ingrained since childhood. Encouragement to embrace self-confidence or take risks was scarce, and being proud of my efforts was not the norm.
Why the Struggle with Self-Expectation?
The truth is, I’m rather conflicted. My entire life, I’ve been conditioned to strive for perfection, and when I inevitably don’t meet that standard, I deem myself a failure.
It hasn’t quite dawned on me that the ideal version of myself is far from perfect and will always remain so. Despite my intelligence, I can sometimes act less than wisely.
Furthermore, I’ve not fully grasped that I alone should determine my efforts. Instead, I often look to others for validation. There have been instances where I’ve genuinely tried to be kind, only to hear that my words were hurtful or that I came off as selfish.
That feedback, however, represents merely one perspective.
I cannot dictate others’ opinions of me; thus, I must stop punishing myself when I face disapproval. Even when I strive for fairness and reason, someone may still perceive me as inconsiderate.
Finding an Easier Approach
My initial instinct is to relax—to acknowledge that I am genuinely doing my best.
It’s high time I recognize the hard work I invest daily into becoming my best self. Believe it or not, I am achieving that already.
Of course, there will be moments when I falter, mistreating both myself and others. That’s a universal part of being human.
What I value about myself is my willingness to reflect on my actions and words. Not everyone shares this introspective goal, as many prioritize proving their perspectives right. This fixation on validation often blinds them to the inner work necessary for a fulfilling life, which can lead to conflict with others.
Embracing Self-Compassion Moving Forward
From this point on, I’m committed to being gentler with myself. I will trust that I’m giving my best effort and remain vigilant against falling into perfectionism—both in my interactions and the quality of my work.
For instance, I plan to limit my revisions of this article to just a couple of passes, rather than my usual six or seven. I’ve already poured significant effort into crafting it, and I’ll trust my intuition that it’s at least “good enough.” I hope the Orange Journal agrees as well.
A Hope for All of Us
First and foremost, we must extend kindness to ourselves. We should recognize that all we can do is our best and take pride in our efforts.
There will inevitably be days when we experience setbacks. That doesn’t define us as bad or incompetent individuals; rather, it shows we are good people who simply had a rough day—perhaps just a fleeting moment of weakness.
It is precisely in such times that we deserve self-compassion.
However, we also bear the responsibility to assess our behaviors. There are no justifiable excuses for neglecting this task. While we might not be able to reflect immediately—especially when we're still reacting to triggers—that’s perfectly fine. We will get to that point.
After self-reflection, we may have the opportunity to apologize. This act demonstrates that our values are aligned, embodying the best version of ourselves—a gift to both others and ourselves.
Your companion on this journey,
Art
The first video title is WORK YOUR ASS OFF. THERE'S NO MAGIC PILL. ft Goggins, Jocko Willink - YouTube, which highlights the importance of hard work over shortcuts in achieving personal goals.
The second video title is How to Get Up Off Your Butt & Make It Happen in 2018 w/ Eric Thomas - Indie Film Hustle, emphasizing motivation and actionable steps for overcoming inertia and pursuing dreams.
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