The DJ Khalid Method

To clarify, this isn't a critique of DJ Khalid; rather, it's a concept inspired by him. Before diving into the method, let me provide some context through a personal story.

Back in October 2021, I was in a relationship with an incredibly attractive PhD student from UC Berkeley. We had matched on Tinder in January, and our first date was filled with chemistry and excitement. She welcomed me into her home with a warm embrace, and I found her even more captivating than her pictures suggested. Her apartment was dimly lit, with the scent of cigarettes and old books filling the air, accompanied by the tunes of Kylie Minogue.

In that moment, I felt like I was in a fantasy. She seemed like everything I had ever desired: intelligent, beautiful, and seemingly aligned with my aspirations—at least, that's what I thought.

During our date, she casually remarked, "You're really hot." Although I sensed her interest, I didn't want to overthink it. We kissed later that evening, and things progressed quickly.

However, the next morning, as I browsed her bookshelf, I stumbled upon several titles related to borderline personality disorder. When I inquired about them, she revealed, "No, I have it as a diagnosis." At that moment, I was so infatuated that I ignored this glaring warning sign and asked her out three weeks later.

Everything was fine until the day before my birthday when she pulled me aside to share shocking news: "I've fallen deeply in love with my colleague and want to be his mistress." I couldn't believe it. Not just a girlfriend, but a mistress.

After a wave of tears, I realized that her happiness stemmed from my suffering. For weeks, I struggled with despair, contemplating the unthinkable. In my darkest hour, I reached out to my father, the one person I knew would listen without judgment.

He said, "Son, this woman wants you to hurt. She chose the day before your birthday to inflict maximum pain. Don't give her that satisfaction."

This is where the DJ Khalid Method comes into play. Just like my ex wanted me to succumb to my pain, I began to reflect on what my adversaries desired. By identifying their wishes in detail, I resolved to do the opposite. My ex wanted me to feel hopeless and despondent, so I shifted my focus to studying happiness and creating a fulfilling life.

I started eliminating unhealthy foods, exercising regularly, and exploring the world around me. I embraced gratitude journaling and sought out my true purpose. My goal became to infuriate her by living my best life.

Was this approach toxic? Absolutely. Did it work? Without a doubt.

The DJ Khalid Method encourages you to consider what those who wish you ill want and then take steps to achieve the opposite.

The Biggest Loser Method

In an infinite universe, there exists a version of you living the worst possible life imaginable. Picture this individual: an addict, morbidly obese, homeless, isolated, and engaged in mindless activities. He is consumed by self-loathing and devoid of hope.

Now, think about the opposite of this life. The ideal version of you is disciplined, in excellent shape, surrounded by loved ones, engaged in meaningful work, and brimming with optimism. This is the direction you need to aim for.

If you're unsure how to progress towards these goals, simply consider how you might fail and then choose the opposite path. This approach has helped me achieve much of what I have today.

Finding Direction: A Summary

To find your direction in life, focus on what you know to be true. You may not have a clear destination in mind, but you certainly know what you want to avoid. Concentrate on that.

If you take away anything from my experience, let it be this: I've never witnessed someone worsen their situation by doing something challenging today that benefits them tomorrow. Read that book, complete that workout, save that money. No matter where you're headed, you’ll find greater happiness in the process.

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