Chapter 1: Understanding Identity

In 2003, a significant mural was revealed at San Francisco State University. This artwork pays tribute to influential Asian American figures and the courageous strikers of the 1968 Third World Liberation Front, who were instrumental in establishing the first and only College of Ethnic Studies in the United States. My name is So-Young, and I identify as American.

#AsiansAreVisible #StandWithAsians #StopAsianHate

Yes, So-Young is indeed my birth name. I was born in Washington, DC, raised in Brooklyn, and educated in the U.S. My heritage is Korean, but my identity is firmly American. There has never been another nationality for me.

As an Asian American with a Korean name, I often label myself as a 'U.S. Citizen' on my resume, like many others in the Asian American community who adopt more 'Western' names to assimilate. Why is this the case? Because in America, there is a societal expectation for Asians to blend in rather than stand out—in our names, opinions, and voices. Too often, we are overlooked for promotions due to a reluctance to self-advocate. While working at McKinsey, I analyzed the transition rates of East Asians from Associates to Directors, and the data showed a troubling and statistically significant drop-off. The reasons for this challenge are multifaceted, involving systemic issues, cultural norms, and unconscious biases—even among fellow Asians.

I grew up in a diverse Brooklyn neighborhood, surrounded by friends of various backgrounds: Lisala, Tanisha, Anita, Peter, Vincent, Wayne—Black, Hungarian, Jewish, Hispanic, Gay, Straight, and a few Asians as well. Our group resembled a miniature United Nations, blissfully unaware and unconcerned about our differences. We shared meals, met each other's families, and supported each other through laughter and tears. This camaraderie profoundly influenced my perception of diversity.

Despite the joy of my upbringing, I faced my share of racial slurs, such as 'ching chong' and derogatory gestures. My response was typically to ignore such taunts, recognizing the potential for confrontation to escalate dangerously. These incidents faded into the background of my life, a troubling norm that I accepted.

Fast forward to 2021, where the landscape has tragically shifted. Six Asian women were brutally murdered, and over 3,800 hate crimes against Asian Americans have been reported, predominantly affecting women. The surge in anti-Asian hate crimes has reached a staggering 1,900%. I suspect the actual numbers are even higher, as many incidents go unreported. Consider these statistics, especially during the pandemic when many have limited their outings. They are alarming.

Have we reached a breaking point?

For those of us of Asian descent growing up in the U.S., you belong here. You are accepted and valued. Do not let confusion about your identity cloud your sense of belonging. If you hold a U.S. passport and are a citizen, then you are undeniably American. Your Asian heritage enriches your identity. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

For allies wishing to help, here are some suggestions: Assume we belong unless explicitly told otherwise. In all your interactions—whether on the streets, in boardrooms, or over meals—recognize our place alongside you. If I mention New York, accept that I am affirming my belonging. Feel free to inquire about my ethnicity; I am proud to be an American of Korean descent. A friendly reminder: making an effort to pronounce our names correctly goes a long way. We understand if you struggle with pronunciation—after all, I find names like Csikszentmihalyi challenging as well!

It’s crucial to remember that one can possess an Asian name and still be American. Forge friendships with individuals from different backgrounds. Make a concerted effort to cultivate genuine relationships with those who differ from you—whether in ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status. Building authentic connections makes it difficult to dehumanize entire ethnic groups. It might feel awkward initially, but exploring cultural enclaves like 'Japan Town,' 'Thai Town,' or 'Korea Town' can be eye-opening—try to engage with the community beyond just the cuisine.

Educate yourself. Growing up, I enjoyed shows like 'Different Strokes,' 'Eddie Murphy,' and 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' Today, we have started to see more Asian representation in media with shows like 'Fresh Off The Boat' and films like 'Minari,' which garnered six Oscar nominations. If television isn't your thing, consider reading literature by remarkable Asian authors such as Amy Tan, Haruki Murakami, and Thi Bui.

Will these actions eradicate violence? I don’t expect immediate results, but I hope they can contribute to a gradual reduction of violence in the future.

Let's utilize the tools and resources at our disposal. We each have unique strengths: some are influencers, others have financial resources, extensive networks, or significant stories to tell. Pause for a moment to contemplate how you can contribute. I extend my gratitude to venture capital firms like Goodwater Capital, GGV Capital, Lightspeed, and General Catalyst for pledging up to $1 million in donations to support #AAPI movements. Receipts can be sent to [email protected] for matching funds.

Change begins with one person, one decision, and one action.

During the #BLM and #MeToo movements, many voiced their opposition to injustice. The struggle against racism and bigotry continues. Now, the Asian community needs support. It is time to unite as one race—the human race. Let’s #StandForAsians and advocate for one