Chapter 1: A Surprising Casting Decision

In a surprising twist, Disney has decided to revitalize Jar Jar Binks, a character often criticized by fans, by casting Priyanka Chopra-Jonas in the role for their upcoming Star Wars TV series. This unexpected move has left many wondering about Disney's vision for the character and the franchise.

A source close to Disney hinted that the revival of Jar Jar would occur in a flashback episode of "The Book Of Boba Fett." Disney CEO Robert Chapek took to Zoom to shed light on this decision.

“We acquired George Lucas’s legacy to expand his imaginative universe. Star Wars is crucial to the Disney brand due to its classic hero narratives that resonate with children and its profitable merchandise,” Chapek explained. “Bringing back Boba Fett allowed us to explore stories of secondary characters, which would boost our profits.”

Chapek further elaborated, “Initially, we considered a spin-off featuring Jabba the Hutt, but that felt too controversial. Instead, we opted for the polarizing Jar Jar Binks, with a contemporary twist: we’re reimagining him as a non-African woman.”

Beaming with pride, Chapek announced, “I’m thrilled to confirm that Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, the wife of the second-most talented Jonas Brother, will portray Jar Jar!”

Star Wars enthusiasts quickly voiced their discontent over Disney's choice to resurrect this contentious character from "Star Wars Episode I — The Phantom Menace." One fan lamented, “I haven't felt this betrayed since 'Star Wars Episode IX — The Rise of Skywalker.'” It was surprising, though, that a company known for family-friendly content would enhance the appeal of a less popular character by casting a former Miss World. This is also the same studio that introduced aliens with risqué attire (see below).

As the Parent Television Council deliberates a lawsuit against Disney for allegedly corrupting youth through “softcore content,” director JJ Abrams joined a Zoom call to address fears about the franchise being compromised for commercial gain.

“Jar Jar has always been a source of comic relief. His oddity has a place in this franchise, which thrives on whimsical storytelling,” Abrams stated. “Star Wars is meant for escapism, a tale of growth and redemption set in a fantastical universe filled with imaginative elements. We even created this thing called the Force—we have no clue how it functions, but it serves the story!”

Abrams continued, “Despite the absurdity, we aim to instill good values in young viewers through our characters. We want children from all backgrounds to see themselves as heroes.”

He expressed disappointment over the backlash directed at actors from minority backgrounds, stating, “It’s disheartening to see threats aimed at talented individuals like Ahmad Best and Kelly Marie Tran, often from adults. I urge our older fans to take a step back and not take this lighthearted saga so seriously.”

Abrams emphasized the importance of humor in the franchise. “Jar Jar embodies the quirks that make him relatable. We created him to inject levity into the series and to remind viewers of the absurdity of our universe.”

Despite understanding the intent, some fans question the gender change of Jar Jar. “Even though Jar Jar was a top-selling toy, he remains a supporting character. His role allows us to explore new narratives without significant backlash,” Abrams explained.

He mentioned being captivated by Chopra-Jonas’s performances. “Her unique personality aligns perfectly with the essence of Jar Jar—a character who embraces quirks while facing undue criticism. This is her moment!” Abrams concluded.

“We aim to expand our female and Indian audience, making Chopra-Jonas the ideal choice for this role,” he added.

We reached out to Chopra-Jonas for her thoughts. “I’m ecstatic about this opportunity to gain recognition in the U.S. Star Wars is integral to American culture, and I’m honored to be part of it!” she said. “I’ve always gravitated towards unconventional roles, eager to break stereotypes.”

Chopra-Jonas revealed that her episode is set to air in December 2022 in the U.S., with a Hindi version following in December 2023, promising an extended runtime filled with Bollywood musical numbers.

This video explores the intriguing backstory of Kelleran Beq, played by the actor behind Jar Jar Binks, in a dramatic flashback during Order 66.

In this video, the Star Wars cast shares their thoughts on the popular theory surrounding Jar Jar Binks and his potential dark past as a Sith Lord.

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Thanks for reading! If you're interested in more of my work, check out my profile's Table of Contents page.

For new Medium users seeking humor, consider subscribing for unlimited access through my link. I appreciate it, as I have debts to pay!