Chapter 1: The Power of Quitting

Quitting is often seen in a negative light, but I embrace it wholeheartedly. This perspective might come as a surprise to many.

I first learned the value of leaving behind what no longer serves me during my time in acting school. We often partnered up for exercises designed to help us connect with our instincts. Daily life tends to weigh us down with countless "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts," making it easy to lose touch with our inner voice.

The most crucial takeaway from my experience was this: depart when something has reached its conclusion. Our instructors urged us to exit gracefully, without remorse. As my favorite acting teacher would say:

"If you feel the urge to leave, then leave! What’s stopping you?"

From a young age, society conditions us to believe that quitting is a failure. “Never Give Up!” slogans adorned classroom walls, and I’m sure your parents encouraged you to "finish what you started," whether it was food on your plate or a sport you disliked.

Growing up with this mindset can strip away our joy and the opportunity to discover what we truly cherish. Recognizing when to walk away from something that doesn’t align with us is essential. Quitting can create space for new opportunities that are a better fit.

Many of us cling to jobs we despise, toxic friendships, unfulfilling relationships, or stressful environments because we associate quitting with a sense of failure. We become so accustomed to our routines that the thought of letting go feels uncomfortable. Why do we equate "giving up" with such heaviness when, in reality, it can be liberating? It’s perfectly okay to release what burdens you.

Leave When It’s Time

The right endeavors deserve perseverance, but amidst the prevalent shame surrounding quitting, how can we discern whether something is truly worth continuing or should be let go? Here are some questions I ask myself before making the decision to quit:

• Can I envision myself in this role a month or a year from now?
• Do I feel authentic while engaging in this activity?
• Am I pursuing this for my own fulfillment or for external validation—titles, praise, money, social media clout?
• Is this experience fulfilling any of my needs? Are there alternative ways to meet those needs?
• Is my unhappiness stemming from this situation, or is there another issue at play?
• Am I genuinely ready to walk away, or am I just afraid of failure?
• What about this makes me feel energized, inspired, or alive? If it used to inspire me, what has changed?

Now, let’s dive into the concepts of sunk costs and opportunity costs. These terms may sound daunting, but they are simple to understand:

A "sunk cost" refers to time or money you’ve already invested in something. It relates to what you’ve already put into a situation, making it difficult to abandon.

Conversely, "opportunity cost" pertains to what you could have gained instead. Every hour or dollar spent on one endeavor means forgoing the chance to invest in something potentially more rewarding.

The sunk-cost fallacy occurs when you feel compelled to continue due to the time or money already spent. For instance, you might think, "I can’t quit baseball; I’ve dedicated my entire life to this." This thinking often traps us, while children and animals typically do not fall victim to it.

Psychology Professor Arkes from Ohio State University explains:

"Your dog won’t think, 'I spent too much time waiting here for food, so I’ll keep doing it, even though it hasn’t worked out.' Humans, however, often get entangled in such thoughts."

We may cling to the hope that our current path can be salvaged. It can be challenging to differentiate between something worth saving and a lost cause, but after sufficient negative feedback, clarity often emerges.

The common belief that we’ve invested too much to quit is flawed. If you feel you’re on a losing path, it’s wiser to step back and reassess your direction.

Frequently, we over-apply the lesson learned in childhood about wastefulness, falling into a scarcity mindset. This mindset can create feelings of entrapment and lead to a cycle of lack in our lives.

In contrast, an abundance mindset fosters creativity and allows us to attract more of what we desire. The truth is, we can choose to quit at any moment. You have the power to declare, "Enough is enough; I won’t tolerate this any longer." By quitting what no longer serves us, we align ourselves with what truly matters.

A common saying goes, "a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits." This phrase, popularized by Napoleon Hill in his book Think and Grow Rich back in 1937, holds some truth. Success often requires immense time and effort.

However, we must keep opportunity cost in mind: each hour spent in one place cannot be invested elsewhere.

Let’s consider a lesser-known quote from the renowned acting coach Stella Adler:

"Your choice is your talent."

Ultimately, making the right choice is paramount—whether it’s the right job, project, or opportunity. If you realize you’ve made a poor decision, even after significant investment, remember: it’s okay to quit.

The first video titled "Here's your sign to quit . . . or maybe start? | How to know when something is no longer for you" explores how to recognize when it’s time to move on from a situation that no longer serves you.

The second video, "You Should Probably Leave (Live From The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon)," presents a humorous take on the theme of knowing when to walk away from something that doesn't fit your life anymore.