Chapter 1: The Illusion of Success

Two decades ago, I envisioned a future where I would retire as a proud member of the United States Marines. I imagined a life filled with adventure, combat deployments, and the heroic image often portrayed in films. However, my actual experience as a Marine was marked by loss, addiction, and invaluable life lessons that ultimately led me to retire after ten years of honorable service. Instead of heading to an exciting destination surrounded by comrades, I found myself returning home, to a place I feared I would not survive.

“If I am not him, then who is he?” - G. Kalantzis

We all have narratives shaped by external influences in our lives. Our inner critics often dictate the plot. Our identities can become entangled in the pain and expectations from our parents, leaving our hearts closed off due to past heartbreaks. We frequently navigate through life without attempting to take control and author our own stories.

It's now been a year since I embarked on my journey of severance and reflection. One of the most profound insights I've gained is the importance of surrendering.

The most significant falsehood we tell ourselves is that we must persist along paths that harm our bodies, minds, souls, and hearts.

This new way of existing is still a challenge for me, as I work to internalize these lessons. After struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for two decades, the notion of slowing down often fills me with dread.

Depression has been a narrative I've lived for much of my life. However, my experience of severance compelled me to reevaluate my motives and values, revealing that there is far more to life than I initially believed.

As I reflect on who I am today, I realize that tying my happiness and self-worth to external achievements leaves parts of me feeling lifeless. Writing these words has illuminated how my misguided perception of success has controlled me like a puppet, with my self-worth as the price I paid. I've learned some difficult truths.

For most of my life, I’ve acted out various roles while my thoughts, emotions, and actions were dictated by the need for validation. I was in denial, repeating cycles that kept me alive even though I felt dead inside.

However, going through severance helped me recognize that my life mirrored everything I believed about myself. Though doubts still linger, I've discovered that life is significantly better when I take charge of my narrative.

Everyone loses their way at some point on their journey. We neglect our health, our relationships, and ourselves, often believing that more is synonymous with better. Instant gratification is just a fingertip away. Yet, when we take the idea of success to an extreme, our identities create an endless cycle of feeling inadequate.

The subconscious narratives instilled by our parents often lead us to ignore our true feelings in pursuit of something more. If we could stop living through the expectations of our parents, we might realize our potential to craft a different, perhaps even better, story.

To be true to ourselves, we must delve deeper to uncover our most profound desires regarding who we are now and who we aspire to be. By opening our hearts and embracing what life offers, we can endure dark days and discover meaning.

Instead of fixating on answers and outcomes, we should pose questions such as:

• Who am I?
• What am I afraid of?
• Why am I doing this?
• What do I truly desire?
• Who do I need to become?
• Who do I need to release?

In this space, we can acknowledge our past, accept it, and attentively listen to what life is revealing to us. This is the gift. It’s a continuous journey as we recognize that many of our struggles are mere shadows of ourselves.

Our story demands a great deal from us. If we persist in living based on past events, we will remain perpetually lost.

I've come to understand that to be the author of my own life, I must find a quiet space for surrender and listen to my heart's messages. This choice saves me from scripting a narrative of pain or pursuing something that was never truly mine. It also shields me from projecting my struggles onto my daughter or anyone close to me.

Suppose the greatest deception we tell ourselves is that we must tread along painful paths. In that case, the alternative narrative is one of liberation.

No rights or wrongs, no shoulds—just learn to be.

No more squandering time chasing what is meant to be free.

Resistance to life hinders your truth from emerging.

Stop penning someone else’s tale; it’s time to release.

No one knows our story, which is what sets us apart. Every life is a precious gift, written to the rhythm of our hearts and shaped by the sands of time. I believe we are never truly alone. Regardless of circumstances, trust your heart; it is your true sanctuary.

GK

Chapter 2: The Power of Surrender

In this enlightening video, "Three Of The Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves Every Day," we dive into the common falsehoods that hold us back from reaching our true potential.

The next video, "5 Lies People Tell Themselves That Keep Them Stuck," explores how these self-deceptions can trap us in a cycle of stagnation and dissatisfaction.